Nerd Watching
A spotter’s guide to designer wildlife.
The Graduate
The graduate is a fleeting sight: bright eyed and bushy feathered, his enthusiasm for design is quickly tarnished by the reality of working with actual clients.
The Intern
Before the intern arrives, the other creatives make jokes about the shitty, repetitive jobs they will make him do. But the intern has a infinite appetite for anything that isn’t stacking shelves in Wilkos, and they soon realise how lazy they look by comparison.
The Junior designer
The junior designer, once unshackled by contractual probation, often arrives still drunk from the previous night’s debauchery. She wears her hangover with pride.
The Middleweight Designer
Middleweight designers do not exist. This does not stop recruiters advertising for them. In fact most designers begin calling themselves senior designers about 6 months after getting their first job.
The Senior Designer
The Senior Designer is bitter that he wasn’t promoted to Creative Director. Saddled with the responsibility of getting the job done, senior designers have too many skills and not enough hobbies. Usually pale with red ringed eyes and an RSI support bandage.
The Creative Director
This breed of designer is way past using a wacom. The Creative Director can usually be seen “testing” facebook and contradicting the ideas of anyone who is actually using a graphics program. In the confusing swirl of a brainstorming session, the creative director can usually be spotted making love the the sound of his own voice.
The Freelancer
Freelancers are in house designers who have realised they are never going to make it to creative director while the present one is still alive. Some choose murder, others choose self-employment. They become as interested in tax avoidance as in typography.
The Blogger
The majority of designers are either a) too busy, or b) too thick, to string a sentence together, the rest are Bloggers. The blogger is feeling empowered by social media to make new connections and opportunities, whilst the rest of the world is down at the pub having a real social life.
The Champion
The champion is a speaker with a mission; not content with merely talking about design, the champion attempts to influence it by contriving an entire methodology from their daily irritations. The champion is essentially a door-to-door salesperson selling ideas instead of mopheads.
The Guru
Having designed something with worldwide reach, the guru has transcended mere words: every gesture and excretion is taken as a further sign of genius. He floats amongst the clouds in a designer Xanadu, feeding off the periodic revival of interest in that same old design and looking with disdain on those clients who dare to question what’s good for them.
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